Saturday, April 2, 2011

Bacon: Let's Get Over Ourselves

this does nothing very little for me anymore

You ever wonder what marks the final death of a trend? Like, when was the last slap bracelet slapped or who owns that last pair of parachute pants ever manufactured? When it comes to fashion, I'm not sure, but I guess when Target does a collaboration with Pendleton it'll be the end of the Native American print era (although I could argue that seeing it all over Urban Outfitters marks the end just as easily). But I'm talking about bacon, a product made from a piggy and something that I do enjoy. But we need to end this nonsense. The nail is officially in the coffin (and by that I mean you are going to die). When Denny's decides to make a bacon menu and starts airing teaser trailers with pornographic grunting, it's over.


We need to MoveOn.org. I like bacon, I love bacon, it is a salty tasty treat and its rendered fat makes for just about the greatest thing to fry with in the world, except for maybe duck fat. But it's over. That place Sage General Store in Long island City has a bacon brunch. If you ask me, it's pretty similar to Denny's, except that Sage uses better products and Denny's front of house staff supports more aging ugly divorcees.



Seriously: There's not much else to say, this isn't really funny, I don't really care. Bacon on everything isn't cool anymore, the South isn't going to Rise Again, and we'll never find who killed Biggie and Tupac.

And I'll just climb down from my soapbox now ...  good. R.I.P. Bacon, you had a good run.

my condolences

you know he was...

4 comments:

  1. I am really glad someone took issue with this. As a bacon lover, I find it troubling...this gratuitous cheapening of my beloved bacon. Also the use of the term "baconalia" seems odd...I mean bacon's delish, but I don't want to have an orgy with it. Too far...Denny's...too far!

    Also...look into this http://www.slapwatch.com/

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  2. slapwatch... the remake is never as good as the original, is it?

    also, baconalia: how many denny's customers know what a bacchanalia is or what, excuse me, to what it refers?

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  3. I am gonna pull out my elitist card and slap it down on the table...I dont think I've ever been in a dennys...but I've been in many a waffle house..and Ill wager they do not know what a bacchanalia is...the nuances of ad copy are lost on them.

    As for the slap bracelet...I was a fan...they were banned from my elementary school, but I had one that said "hammertime"

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  4. that commercial is sooo gross and depressing..

    also i am sure had Notorious BIG not been 'murdered', he would have probably eventually died due to bacon-induced health problems N-e-Wayz :/

    ReplyDelete

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